Smackintheface

Luca came in the house the other day with bloody knees.

.

.

.

It was nothing I hadn't seen before in my 6 years as a momma.

.

.

.

But still something was off.

.

.

.

Different.

.

.

.

There was a calmness about her that just didn't seem right for a child with blood dripping from her knees.

.

.

.

There was an acceptance of the pain.

.

.

.

Here's the gory evidence.

.

.

.

And here's my sweet Luca bird as I tended to her wounds

(notice the smile...what is up with that?!?).

.

.

.

Trust me...I asked myself the same question you're probably asking yourself. "How could she stop and take a picture when her child has been wounded?!?" But on this day, Luca once again was teaching her dear old clueless mother something about life, and I didn't want to forget her priceless lesson.

.

.

.

Actually, it felt quite unnatural to reach for the camera with bloody knees before me, and there was a brief moment when I thought to myself, "Have I ever taken a picture of Brenin's skinned knees?"

.

.

.

But then I remembered that when Brenin skins her knees, the place is literally like an ER after a 5 car pile up...gauze pads flying through the air, people running for water, ice, anything. You're forced to shout at your nursing staff (hehe) over her loud and exaggerated cries for help.
.

.

.

And then the sobering truth hit me like a "smackintheface" (as my friend and fellow adoptive parent-to-be has coined as a term for these types of moments). Luca's pain is different from our pain. The loss she's experienced, the hunger she's felt, the sadness she's known in her lifetime is all so much greater than skinned knees or really anything we can imagine in our privileged world.

.

.

.

And then I ask myself, "What is painful to me?" "What do I cry about?" "Or whine about?"

.

.

.

And I'm embarrassed.

.

.

.

And I realize that pain is relative.

.

.

.

And I know nothing of it.

.

Orphan

Warner Bros. new horror movie Orphan proclaims that it must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own. Let me tell you about how an orphan changed my life...

.

.

.

This is Luca.

.

.

.

She looks harmless enough, doesn't she?

.

.

.
Sweet round face.

.

.

.
Big brown eyes.

.

.

.
Teeny as a peanut.

.
.
.

Cute as a button.

.

.

.

But there's another side of the story.

.

.

.

Oh yes, this sweet little thing turned my world upside down.

.

.

.

Don't believe me? I'm not kidding!

.

.

.

Before the thought of her, life was comfortable...at times even boring!

.

.

.

And then she showed up...a master of disguise.

.

.

.

In a tiny little package of giggles and kisses, her existence told a horrifying tale. A tale of mothers lying with their babies, watching their bodies fail, seeing them writhe in pain and eventually forget even how to crave food for basic nourishment. A tale of children like yours and mine whispering a final goodbye to their mommies and daddies, sometimes ushering them to their own death from a disease which should have been easily treated with medication and healthcare not made available to them. A tale of poverty which simply SHOULD NOT EXIST in the same world as $8000 vacations and $50,000 cars. It simply should not. Period.

.

.

.

Sure, I had plans for the house, the car, the big screen.

.

.

.

But suddenly things changed.

.

.

.

Price tags mocked me.

.

.

.

$40,000 car?

.

.

.
Two lives.

.

.

.

$10,000 vacation, over in 2 weeks?
.

.

.
Clean, life-giving, disease-free water for an entire village.

.

.

.

I was completely wrecked.

.

.

.

Forever.

.

.

.

Sure, I had heard the stories about "starving children in Ethiopia," and I may have even finished a few plates of food in honor of them (for which I'm sure they are just eternally grateful). Eyeroll.

.

.

.

But this small child before me woke me from long and colorless slumber. She made my heart beat in unison with God's heart. She made me care about the things that God cares about. She demonstrated strength and forgiveness for life to a degree that I simply could not have imagined existed in any person.

.

.

.

And then she took my hand.

.

.

.

And she looked into my eyes.

.

.

.

And she gave herself to me.

.

.

.

And I was her mother.

.

.

.

And I was stronger.

.

.

.

And better.

.

.

.

And braver.

.

.

.

And no longer asleep.

.

.

.

And alive like never before.

.

.

.

Empowered.

.

.

.

Enlightened.

.

.

.

Passionate.

.

.

.

Changed.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"It is a poverty that a child must die so that we may live as we wish."

-Mother Theresa-

.

.

.

.

.

"...once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act."

-Proverbs 24:12-

.

.

.

.

p.s. Warner Bros., SHE IS MY OWN!!!!

.

.

____________________________________________________
.

Join me in defending the cause of the orphan...From Tom Davis' blog:

This is an opportunity to defend the cause of the orphan. But instead of cursing the darkness, lets put the truth on display.



Tom is challenging his readers and friends to write 500 positive blog posts about how an orphan has impacted and changed your life. Post this on your own blog so that when people search for the movie, they are flooded with positive messages about adoption and orphan care.



Just finish this sentence: "Warner Bros. new horror movie Orphan proclaims that it must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own. Let me tell you about how an orphan changed my life..."



This is the heart of defending orphans. Help push back the darkness and deceit here by holding up as an example the powerful love that adoption and orphan care can unleash.



Here's how you can defend the orphan:

1. Write a "positive protest post" on your blog that references the movie, Orphan.

2. Focus on your orphan care or adoption story that is positive, redeeming and full of love.

3. Link your post to http://www.tomdavis.typepad.com/

4. Send out an email, Facebook message, or tweet to get others to do the same thing on their blogs.

May Showers Brought Wildflowers!

The girls celebrated the arrival of spring in early

May by planting some wildflowers...

.

.

. .

(love this one!)

.
.

.

...and now we're enjoying the fruits of their labor...
. .

..

. .

..

. .

. .

. .

. .

. .

. .

..

.

...and the forecast calls for more color!

. .

Doctors & Camping & Bears, Oh My!

We spent the weekend camping, and I'm just now catching up with myself (and my laundry pile!) enough to post a few pictures.

.

.

A highlight of the weekend was a bear "hunt" safari style in Grandpa's SUV.

Tour guides Brenin & Tucker perched out the moonroof.

.

.

Memories by Moonlight
.
.

This one was taken right after we thought we saw a bear...

brave little tour guides, huh?

.

.

.
.

.
.

Notice who's drivin' this train? Metaphor for life? Hmmm...

.

.

.

In other news, Luca had her 4 year old checkup today and is doing great. She was slightly above average for height and slightly below average for weight. She was highly above average in every other area of her life (okay, I made that part up, but I reserve the right to think my kids are fabulous)! :-)

And Now For a Completely Shallow Post...

Does she not look like Olivia from

The Cosby Show in this picture?!?

What a little glam girl!!!!

(I told you it was shallow!!!!)

Finally, an update!

Phew! It's been a busy couple of weeks in our neck of the woods!

To begin with, Danny's sister and her family were up from Texas and spent the week with us. I'll post a picture so you can see what a "girl Danny" would look like (for those of you who haven't actually seen Danny in a dress...for those of you who have, well, that's just sad).

.

.

.

The girls enjoyed having another "pumpkin in the patch," and Brenin and her cousin were in full superhero character all week.

.

.

Then for the really big news...LUCA TURNED 4!!!!!! This was actually her 1st birthday, as birthdays aren't celebrated in Ethiopia, so we were all pretty excited for her.

.

Tuesday was her actual birthday (although we celebrated officially on Friday due to those pesky jobs we have). Tuesday night we took the girls to Build-A-Bear and then out for dinner at Sarento's.
.

.

.

How could you not buy this precious face a $150 teddy bear on her birthday?!? :-)
.

.
.

It's a woman's world!

.

.

.

.

Then on Friday the celebration carried on all day, starting at our favorite birthday bakery for a sugary breakfast!

.

.

.

.

.

Luca had been planning to have a Dora birthday ever since she saw her sister's birthday party in April. We had the party at Devils Lake so the kids could play on the playground and swim (one of Luca's favorite activities).
.

.

.

There was lots of pink (Luca's favorite color)...
.

.
.

...and silliness...

.

.

.

...and snuggling (Grandpa's shirt says "Grandpa" in Amharic)...
.

.

.

...and more snuggling!
.

.

.

She was just as excited about the cards as she was the presents...she worked hard to get this one open and was just tickled to see a colorful card inside!
.

.

.

.

.

The kids swam until the sun would shine no more.
.

.

.

Whenever we would ask Luca what she was going to have at her birthday, she would simply say "cupcake" (her word for cake). I knew this was an important element, so I took great joy in ordering her very first birthday cake with Dora on it and pink frosting! (Admittedly, I'm a bit of a birthday junkie, so these things thrill me).
.

.

.

And then she did what kids everywhere have done for years and years before her...dipped her little birthday finger in the cake for a lick - Yet more proof that kids are the same in every language!

.

.

.

Luca got super spoiled (big surprise) for her birthday. She got lots of toys, books, clothes, a princess gown, art supplies, Dora backpack, a Leapster and a princess bike. She literally hasn't stopped playing with at least 1 thing she got on her birthday since the party. She was pretty thrilled.
.

.

.

Just when we thought the party was over, some friends showed up and the kids played until they literally could do nothing but lay on the couch with a birthday hangover.
.

.

.

It was so fun to be able to give Luca a "first," as many of her firsts happened before we met. I wondered if it would be strange celebrating my child's birthday and not reliving every excruciating hour of her birth (like I do on Brenin's birthday and my mom does on mine...we're sick, I know!). These are details of Luca's life that I'll never be able to share with her...what we felt on the day she was born, what her pregnancy was like, who was the first person to hold her, and for some moms that can be a hard pill to swallow (not this totally put together one though). ;-)

.

What I've come to realize throughout this process though is that every person has a different story...and that's okay. Some people have video and pictures of their birth. Some people have funny stories about the day they were born and getting to the hospital in time. Some people have scrapbook pages dedicated to their labor and delivery with little heart stickers all around the picture of the epidural-giver (okay, that one was me). And some people have the knowledge that they were born to a different mommy and came to find their forever mommy a little later in life. And that's okay!

.

Luca has already asked me if she was in my tummy after she saw a friend of ours with a baby in her tummy, and oh how I wanted to tell her that she was, but I knew it simply wasn't true and more importantly that it was okay that it wasn't true. In the end, it is my job to raise a whole child, and in order for her to be whole, every single part of her has to be acknowledged and okay, even and maybe even especially the painful parts. I imagine we'll have this conversation many more times over the years, and each time I'll tell her her story with great pride so that she can embrace it for what it is, a part of her.

.

I'm so grateful that God brought this precious girl home, that He gave me her future, and that the rest of her story is yet to be written.