Empty Nest

Yesterday Luca spent the day away from home and Mommy had an empty nest for the first time in almost 5 months (don’t get too excited, I had to work, but boy was it quiet)!

She was so excited to get out to Grandma & Grandpa’s house to color Easter eggs, but I could sense a bit of nervousness on our goodbye. For one thing, her rather unexperienced mother didn’t bother to fill her in on the details of the day, that we were meeting Grandma at a parking lot, not at her house like she was expecting, so her sense of balance was off and she got a little nervous. Knowing what to expect and having a routine are so important when your whole world has been turned upside down, and at certain times it is key in making Luca feel secure. When we’re having a busy day and I can tell she’s feeling disconnected, I’ll sit down with her and lay out what we’re going to do, “Eat breakfast, brush teeth, bye bye in the makina (our adopted Amharic word for car), market, etc.…” Most of the time she then makes me go through who is going bye bye together, “bye bye Mommy, bye bye Luca and bye bye Brenin,” just to be sure I’m going to be with her.

This process of creating stability and a sense of trust between us has been undertaken THOUSANDS of times since our returning home in November… each time I run to the store and leave her at home with Daddy (and then return home!), each time she tells me a need and I meet it, each time I comfort her when she’s sad or hurt.

I think it’s both beautiful and sad that her little heart is constantly working so tirelessly to rebuild trust when her trust has been broken at a most primal level. On the one hand, my heart breaks that what should have been a carefree moment in a child’s life (going to Grandma & Grandpa’s) was a little bit stressful for her. On the other hand, could we all learn something from the heart of a child, fighting and clawing its way out of pain and distrust to find a new day, one tiny step at a time? What strength it must take to evaluate every single decision in your day, take a chance on people you’ve really only known for 5 months, and constantly be building what was not long ago broken. What an amazing person she is! We are working as a family toward a day when Luca's biggest concern is "ride bikes or jump rope?"

Here she is all dressed and ready for her big day!

This is how she returned hours later, like my kids often return from Grandma & Grandpa's house, covered in paint, crusted with sugar, undone in every way possible, exhausted beyond capacity to function.

Grandma was thrilled she found a "crafter," as Luca was ENTHRALLED with the egg decorating and followed Grandpa around with a stool to be sure she wouldn't miss any of the steps. I came into the dining room a while after they returned home and Luca was standing by the front door like a sad little puppy in a soft voice saying, "Grandma? Grandpa?" Another one bites the dust!

Thanks for the awesome day, Grandma and O'Poopa!